Ouch!

From the Ninemsn news website, Sunday, February 14, 2010. (Click here to read article)

"Shark bites woman in the Whitsundays."

Now, I'm not eaxctly sure where the Whitsundays may be located on a woman, but it sounds bloody painful!

This will cure what ails you.

Malapropisms are sentences in which a word is substituted for another word that sounds similar, but often ends in a comical result, and embarrassment for the perpetrator. You can read some corkers here.

This shining example comes via e-mail from a friend;

"I thought of The Butcher Shop immediately earlier tonight when "K" made a comment that had me laughing for the rest of the night. He said he felt as though he was getting another cold and he might have some euthanasia tonight."

If ever there was a cure worse than the disease ...

Tautology.

From the Herald Sun, Wednesday, March 4, 2009.

One would think that such action would be superfluous. I guess, though, it is the simplest method of disposing of a bomb, but I suspect that it wouldn't exactly be a long career.

Will the real Rip Van Winkle please wake up.

From the Herald Sun, Wednesday, June 24, 2009.

At last! Proof that rumours of the existence of Rip Van Winkle might have some basis in fact. Why else would such a prestigious hospital as the Austin advertise for people who are able to sleep for at least three months?

Either that, or they're simply advertising for teenagers 18 years or older.